Travel Diary Page One

March 21, 2003   

So we're at war.  I stand in the baby's room, looking at her suitcase bulging with all of the clothes, diapers, medicines and toys that so many people have given to her, without even knowing her yet, and I can't help but think there must be hope for this crazy world.  That baby girl is sitting in a crib on the Siberian border,  totally oblivious to the powers that hold her destiny in her hands.  I envy her, in that way.  Meanwhile, we pack and prepare and pray that nothing happens to hinder this trip.  Four days.  Just four days.

March 26, 2003

So much has happened in the last 24 hours!  The flight to Moscow, was, in a word, fantastic.  When we got to JFK, we ran into four other families who are adopting, and two of them are going to the same baby home we are in Ekaterinburg!  And the most amazing thing is that they also have the same court date--April 2nd.  So we had quite a time getting to know each other and showing off pictures of the kids.  Then Tom and I were able to sit in business class on the way over.  I was like a kid in a candy store--there were all kinds of gadgets to play with.  The seats were huge with tons of legroom, and they adjusted every which way like a Craftmatic adjustable bed. Coach class is going to be pretty depressing on the way home.  Both of us were able to get some sleep, so jet-lag has been ok so far.

The Moscow airport was nothing like I imagined--I thought it was going to be crowded, noisy, and totally confusing.  But it was practically empty, and almost all of the signs were written in both Russian and English.  We were through passport control in no time, and after we passed through we saw a young woman holding a sign with our name on it.  She introduced herself as Nadya.  She greeted us in English and we greeted her in Russian (lol) and she took us to our driver.  The cars in Russia are small and trunk space is scarce.  You know that commercial with all of the kids squashed into the car going to IHOP?  Well, that's what Tom and I looked like in the backseat, because we had to share it with some luggage.  I was one cheeking it on the seat all the way to the homestay.  LOL!  We are staying (for a couple of days) with a woman named Olga in Moscow.  She lives in a city-style apartment building, which has a clanky, old-style, tiny elevator.  I kinda like it though, makes me feel like I'm living on the edge.  Olga speaks a little English and we speak a little Russian, so we are doing a lot of gesturing and making faces at each other.  It gets the job done though!  And wouldn't you know it, as soon as we got here I was attacked by some intestinal virus...always a joy when you are doing a homestay and the bathroom is directly off the main eating area.  I'm not really eating much, which concerns her greatly (she told us in Russian that we had an American mother and a Russian mother now) and she fed Tom some authentic borscht for dinner.  He said it was delicious...I wish I could have had some!  Olga called Stella, our Russian coordinator, because she couldn't communicate well enough with us to make sure I was ok.  But I told Stella to tell her that I should be feeling better tomorrow.  Thank god I brought the Pepto!  Tomorrow....sightseeing around Moscow......

March 27, 2003

I'm feeling better today.  I slept pretty much all afternoon and all night last night, and I've been drinking lots of bottled water.  Olga has been fussing over me, trying to get me to eat, but I really couldn't eat much til this morning.  She has been so nice to us, and she makes me laugh, trying so hard to get us to eat.  Tom is laying beside me right now on the bed, napping after a day of sightseeing in Moscow.  It is a beautiful day today--sunny, bright, and about 40 degrees.  The streets are dry, which is a big change from yesterday, when we were covered in mud just by taking a short walk.  Anyway, our translator, Marina, came to get us around 9 am, and our driver Yul (sp?) took us to Red Square (Krasnaya Ploshad).  We stood there in awe--there are no words to describe St. Basil's Cathedral.  Tom says it felt totally surreal, standing there looking up at it.  The domes are in technicolor and they glistened in the sun like candy.  The Kremlin was closed, but we did go to the Historical Museum, a two hour tour.  There are relics in there from Russia's history from the stone age to the 19th century.  We looked at ancient manuscripts, pottery, jewelry, clothing, tools, and much more.  It was one of the most fascinating museums I have ever been in!  We also visited The Cathedral of Christ the Savior.  The church was completely destroyed by Stalin during his reign, but it has been rebuilt in its former splendor.  Pictures, of course, do it no justice--the domes glisten gold in the sun and almost blind you.  We weren't allowed to take pictures inside, but it was so breathtakingly gorgeous I wanted to cry.  Ornate!  Paintings so detailed the icons seem to walk off the walls.  Marble and gold leaf and painting everywhere.  Marina bought us each a candle to light for "peace in the world."  I thought that was a great idea.  We got back around 2, and as Marina was leaving Olga chased her down with a box of orange juice and a glass--she poured some for her in the hallway.  Like I said, she cracks me up.  She likes to take care of people.

We have also received some exciting news.  We are leaving late tonight for Ekaterinburg--they need us there sooner because Igor had to give our paperwork to a different judge.  It looks like we will be meeting Elena sooner than we thought!  Darn, I wanted one more day of sightseeing.  (KIDDING!)

The driver is coming to get us at 11:00 pm tonight.  Our flight to Ekat is at 1 am.  We get in around 5 am (Ekat is two hours ahead of Moscow time).  Body clock?  What's that?  Here we come, baby girl!  :)

March 28, 2003

Today I know what it must feel like to hold your heart in your hands.  I held my daughter for the very first time!

When we arrived in Ekat we were greeted by Alyona, our translator, and Sergei, our very large Russian driver.  He kind of reminds me of the Russian guy in Rocky.  Because we arrived early, we have to stay at the Atrium Palace Hotel until our apartment is ready.  It's no skin off my back--the place is pretty swanky.  Tom keeps slapping my hands away from the mini bar.

We had time to get to the hotel, shower, and eat breakfast, and then Alyona and Sergei were back at 8:45 to pick us up for our appointment at the Ministry of Education.  We were brought into a small room and were formally presented with our referral, all official like.  Then we were taken straight to the baby home.  They bring the babies into a big common area known as the "music room", where they meet their parents.  One of the couples that we had met at JFK (Mary and Ray) were already there with their son.  We sat and chatted while we waited for them to bring Elena in.  Soon someone came in and said "whose little girl is this?"  and I looked up and there she was.  I would have recognized her anywhere.  She looks just the same as her pictures!  My heart felt like it would burst...she was so beautiful to me! From somewhere out in space I heard Tom say "Hello, pretty girl!"  I just kept saying "Hello, you're so beautiful!"  We had prepared ourselves for her to be scared and cry when she saw us, but as soon as she was in our arms Elena looked right at us and gave us the biggest, gummiest smile!  She touched my face, Tom's face (she loves his stubble) and pulled my hair.  We were both crying with joy (truth be told I wanted to sob but I didn't want to scare her to death), and Ray got some great pictures.

We spent most of the day with her today.  She tires easily, especially with one on one attention (she's not used to it) and she is definitely delayed (she's just like a six month old baby), but she is strong and she is trying like crazy to crawl.  She almost has it.  We have a lot of work ahead of us, but we have no doubt in our minds that she was the child meant for us. 

March 29, 2003

This experience is blowing my mind.  Really, truly blowing my mind.  I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I can express what this is like, but there really are no words.  

We visited with Elena again today, twice.  The first visit was from 10-12 and the second was from 3-4.  We just hung out  on the floor with her and the other families and played with toys.  I have never been happier.  She got very sleepy during the end of the first visit, because noon is her naptime.  Her eyes were getting heavy but she was so interested in what was going on in the room around her, she wouldn't let herself sleep.  She is very aware and curious about the world around her--a great sign.  She was also gazing into our eyes a lot and she loves to study our faces.  This afternoon she was staring into my eyes, and suddenly reached up, wrapped her little fingers around my glasses and yanked them off my face.  She also loves honking on Tom's nose--I get a lump in my throat every time I see her looking at his face and rubbing his stubble.  We are just hopelessly in love with her already.  

When we returned in the afternoon we were told that Elena had been very fussy after her nap, wanting to be held a lot.  Her caregivers said that she is already getting used to having individual attention.  A good thing, but not so good for the caregivers, who have nineteen other children to care for! 

All in all, a fantastic day.  We are just so thrilled.

March 30, 2003

Ekaterinburg

Ekaterinburg is like no other place we have been before.  It's a big city, about 2 million people, and since the collapse of the Soviet Union has fallen upon hard economic times. The Uralmash machine tool factory, once the city's largest employer with 40,000 workers, now employs about 15,000.  The winter cityscape is bleak and gray, and the roads and sidewalks are rivers of mud (they spread fine black dirt on the ice here, not sand, as we are used to).  The facades of many buildings have fallen into disrepair.  When we first arrived here, our first impression was of a run-down, dirty city.  But there is so much more to Ekaterinburg than meets the eye.

The people here are proud of their homes and even though the outside may look shabby by American standards, from what we have seen, the inside of these apartments are cozy, warm and welcoming.  Even our MAPS apartment here in the city is like this.  It's very clean and homey, and the hardwood floors are laid out in a herringbone pattern and gleam like new.  In the afternoons, bright sun streams through the windows and the whole place glows.

And there is hope here.  New buildings are springing up all over the place, the most notable a huge Russian Orthodox church with gold domes.  It reminds me of the church in Moscow.  

Most of the time, I feel like an arrogant American, even though the people here have been friendly.  We have so much and it is amazing how much we take for granted.  I get looks from people when I am using my digital camera, Tom gets looks when he takes out his pile of rubles to pay for something.  We got some looks at the grocery store when our cart was piled to the top with food.  They are subtle, but we notice.  We caused a little bit of a stir when we bought a tea set at a local department store.  Here, everything is behind a counter and you must ask for it, nothing is self serve, except in the large grocery store.  We asked for the tea set, and as the clerks packed it, they tapped on the sides of each piece with a pen to show us that nothing was cracked or chipped.  People walked by, staring, and we attracted the attention of a teenage boy who tried to get us to give him money.  Alyona shooed him off in Russian.

I was just reading that the living standards for the average Russian are pretty bleak.  Our Lonely Planet guide to Russia tells us that in 2000 "the average wages for workers is $50 a month and a quarter of the population is owed back wages.  About 44 million people live below the poverty line of $32 a month and at least nine million are unemployed, although many others considered 'employed' have jobs with little work and less pay."   

But don't feel sorry for these people--as I said, they are proud, determined, and they make due.  Walk down any street and you will see very well dressed Russians, with beautiful women in furs and leather boots.  If they have a hard time buying food, they will grow it if they can--in Moscow at Olga's we had potatoes from her garden.  And the Russian people are very well educated as a whole, and many can speak more than one language.  The one problem is that many of the young people are emigrating to other countries.  And I also imagine that it is difficult for the Russian people to see their children being adopted by people of other countries.

Being here has changed me forever.  I will never see things at home in quite the same way.  As far as we are concerned, we are a multi-cultural family now.  Russia will always be a part of us.

April 1, 2003

We are so attached to her already it's not even funny.  Alyona called us this morning to tell us that a driver might not be available for our morning visit with Elena.  I was practically in tears.  

Blood?  Biology?  Irrelevant.  If we had only understood what this was going to be like, we could have saved ourselves years of heartache.  But hindsight is always 20/20, I suppose.  Tom said to me last night, "It's funny, because to me, she is 'it'.  I don't think it's possible to feel any differently about a biological child.  She's my kid."  My sentiments exactly.

We did eventually get a driver to take us to the baby home...a little late, but we at least had a little time with her this morning.  We will have another couple of hours with her this afternoon...

April 2, 2003

Today was court day.  I was a nervous wreck!  Tom was, again, cool as a cuke.  We were just made for each other, I think.  

We were able to visit with Elena this morning for a couple of hours, and it was a great visit--she is changing so much already.  Her muscle tone is improving, and she has sort of crawled/shimmied for her new favorite toy, Tom's watch.  She isn't happy about having to work at getting things, but she'll get over it.  She is so fascinated with Tom's watch, it's so funny!  She can play with it forever, just staring at it, gumming it, putting it in one hand and then the other.  And the best, most wonderful thing happened today--she fell asleep in my arms.  It's the first time she has relaxed enough to let herself go like that.  She zonked out and all we could do was stare at her beautiful face.  There's nothing in the world like a sleeping baby.

At two thirty Alyona and Sergei picked us up for court.  Alyona has coached us about what types of questions the judge was going to ask, and we had to memorize a few of the answers.  The courtroom was nothing like I expected--I was expecting People's Court, and I got a big empty room with some benches, a few desks, and a couple of Russian flags.  The judge actually looked quite nice, and even cracked a smile a few times.  Everything that was said in the courtroom was translated by Alyona.  Tom did the speaking, and the judge grilled him--"Why Russia?"  "Why do you want to adopt?"  "What are your legal responsibilities?"  "What if she gets seriously ill in the future?  Will you abandon her?", and so on.  He did really really wonderfully.  I'm so proud of him!  Then the judge asked if I wanted to add anything, and of course I got all emotional and said gushy things and pretty much made an ass of myself.  But it worked, and Elena is now officially Elena ********!!!  The judge did not waive the ten day wait, so we are still coming home on the 22nd, as originally planned.  I am SO glad this part is over!  Now we can just hang out, visit with Elena, and enjoy the company of the other adoptive families here!  It's gonna be a long haul...but so worth it.